“We’re just
a normal family.”
“She doesn’t
behave like a normal five-year-old.”
“I wish he
would speak in a normal voice.”
What is normal?
This word
comes with such a loaded connotation of a certain standard that is easily
attained. It is just as loaded with the
connotation that anything not meeting that standard is abnormal, and no-one wants to be abnormal because it implies they don’t “fit in” and soon as they
don’t fit in, they are destined to live a lonely existence.
We need to
be careful about chasing a “normal” life to be happy. Although the dictionaries have fairly
consistent definitions for the word, people don’t. “Normal” differs from culture to culture,
home to home, and person to person and it is common to think our way of doing
things is the normal way. This creates a
great deal of conflict in the workplace where we have little control over the
people we interact with; but it also plays a role within friendships and families.
As
relationships evolve and new milestones are met, we share more of ourselves and
learn about ourselves in new situations.
Always assuming what we do is perfectly normal. When this normality is challenged, it can
throw quite a bit of the relationship off-kilter. Often times we can reconcile the differences
and find bring the other person(s) over to our side of normal and sometimes we
create a whole new version of normal – without giving it another thought.
Sometimes
though, it is more difficult to reconcile these differences of normality and
here counselling can be a great help.
